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Happy Man

What is emotional maturity?

“Emotional maturity is the ability to handle situations without unnecessarily escalating them. Instead of seeking to blame someone else for their problems or behavior, emotionally mature people seek to fix the problem or behavior. They accept accountability for their actions.” Monique Judge

Emotional maturity is about how to be a self with our own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, values, opinions, desires, goals, wants, choices, preferences, and ways of doing things while also being closely connected to another person who we love and care about who is very different than we are.

To be emotionally mature means to grow our capacity to self-differentiate. To be differentiated is to be separate from another person while remaining connected to them in relationship.

“Differentiation deals with the effort to define oneself, to control oneself, to become a more responsible person, and to permit others to be themselves as well.  Differentiation is the ability to remain connected in relationship to significant people in our lives and yet not have our reactions and behavior determined by them.” (The Leaders Journey, page 18)

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